Wholehearted Living...
In the past two and half months I have had a whirlwind of experiences that I can sometimes find it hard to describe. The loss of my brother, watching history happen before my eyes in Delaware, being part of a joyous day of friends committing their love to each other, and attending a conference with professionals working to provide civilian oversight of law enforcement.
I've been to Arizona, Delaware, Ohio, Massachusetts and New Mexico. I've flown more than I ever anticipated. I've been utterly exhausted, both physically and emotionally, but at the same time amazed at the experiences of life. Amazed at how in the midst of grief the world still spins, love still happens, people still push for change and make history.
In a lot of ways these various experiences have reinforced the precious reality of now - that life can be all to fleeting.
In my last blog I talked a little about the redefinition that comes with loss. How, particularly with unexpected loss, life goals and expectations change over night. And to be honest the hardest part about grieving with such a loss is trying to avoid the pitfalls of the "what ifs" or the "I should have done this or that." I do my best not to fall into those pitfalls because they are things you cannot change. Loss and grief hurt enough that we shouldn't allow ourselves to cause more pain by focusing on our perceived failures. And in those moments where the darkness creeps in, I try my best to remind myself of the words in the "Serenity Prayer":
As I go through this journey of grieving and living a life under redefinition I've opted to read Brené Brown's book "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are." When I saw this book at Kramerbooks a couple weeks ago it spoke to me in a profound way. I didn't realize at the time, but I realized it a week later when I felt the need to purchase it and read. I've just begun, but already I can tell it's what I need right now.
I've talked about some of Brené Brown's work before in my blog on empathy - and so far this book is putting into clearer words a philosophy of how I try and live my life: with courage, compassion, and connection. Basically, as Brené Brown calls it "wholehearted living."
Now this road hasn't been easy and I know there are more challenging moments to come, but I am simply amazed at the human ability to laugh and cry, and to feel a heart full of love and one full of loss all at the same time.
I've been to Arizona, Delaware, Ohio, Massachusetts and New Mexico. I've flown more than I ever anticipated. I've been utterly exhausted, both physically and emotionally, but at the same time amazed at the experiences of life. Amazed at how in the midst of grief the world still spins, love still happens, people still push for change and make history.
In a lot of ways these various experiences have reinforced the precious reality of now - that life can be all to fleeting.
In my last blog I talked a little about the redefinition that comes with loss. How, particularly with unexpected loss, life goals and expectations change over night. And to be honest the hardest part about grieving with such a loss is trying to avoid the pitfalls of the "what ifs" or the "I should have done this or that." I do my best not to fall into those pitfalls because they are things you cannot change. Loss and grief hurt enough that we shouldn't allow ourselves to cause more pain by focusing on our perceived failures. And in those moments where the darkness creeps in, I try my best to remind myself of the words in the "Serenity Prayer":
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
As I go through this journey of grieving and living a life under redefinition I've opted to read Brené Brown's book "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are." When I saw this book at Kramerbooks a couple weeks ago it spoke to me in a profound way. I didn't realize at the time, but I realized it a week later when I felt the need to purchase it and read. I've just begun, but already I can tell it's what I need right now.
I've talked about some of Brené Brown's work before in my blog on empathy - and so far this book is putting into clearer words a philosophy of how I try and live my life: with courage, compassion, and connection. Basically, as Brené Brown calls it "wholehearted living."
Now this road hasn't been easy and I know there are more challenging moments to come, but I am simply amazed at the human ability to laugh and cry, and to feel a heart full of love and one full of loss all at the same time.
In the end we are given but a short time on this Earth, and in that time I hope to live a full life with courage, compassion, and connection.
Thank you all for being part of that journey.
Love,
DC3FO
Thank you all for being part of that journey.
Love,
DC3FO