Do you listen with empathy?
A while back like many of you I found myself sitting there watching Kelly Clarkson's performance of "Piece by Piece" on American Idol and getting all the feels and a bit misty eyed. Getting emotional for similar reasons that Kelly did during her performance: the nostalgic feeling of it being the final season of American Idol (even though I haven't been an adamant watcher since season 5), the fact that she was super pregnant, and connecting with the deeply emotional lyrics of the song. Yes, similarly I have elements of my own story that include heartache and triumph, but more than just those experiences watching this performance reminded me of the wonderful ability of connecting through empathy.
If you don't know this by now, from either talking to me or reading this blog, I believe strongly in the power of empathy. How it has the unique ability of allowing people to connect deeply in a real and lasting way. How it helps people understand that which is different from them. And how I believe empathy can be a powerful tool for social change. For those reasons, it's a tool I try to employ as part of my everyday arsenal. Listening with heart and intention can be more than just a skill or ability, it can be a defining moment that could help change the path for someone. And for a quick refresher on what empathy is, check out this video.
On a recent Friday afternoon, I received a call to my office. I'm sure like many of you, I hate when my phone rings, so I was immediately grumpy. It was a Friday, it had been a long week, and I was trying to focus on some work, but nonetheless I answered and on the other end was a woman who was calling because she didn't know where else to call. She was a faith leader who has been administering faith to an elderly man for the past 5 years who is incarcerated. She called because the man was in his 70's, has been incarcerated for a long time, for a crime from years past to which he has always maintained his innocence, and is beginning to suffer from dementia. There wasn't much I could do for her, but listen. Listen to the concern and pain in her voice and to express empathy and do my best to offer any resources that I was aware of in the state from which she called.
Calls like this happen, they break my heart every time because generally I can't do more than listen calmly, intently, and offer true and genuine compassion. It's a stark reminder why I do this work, it's why I became a resident adviser at Ohio State, it's why I embraced the challenging role of being a sexual assault victim advocate and took crisis calls, it's why I stretch myself to thin to this day working on criminal justice reform and as an advocate/adviser on local issues that range from domestic violence to police-community relations.
I believe in the unique and lasting power of empathy as a true connector in relationships, and as a powerful tool for social change. In fact, I think it is probably the strongest tool I have in my arsenal. It's not a skill I've learned through work, but one garnered through life experiences. And it's one I think we could all use a little more of.
With love and empathy,
DC3FO
P.S. Oh and just in in case you wanted to experience all the feels again here's Kelly's performance on Idol :)
If you don't know this by now, from either talking to me or reading this blog, I believe strongly in the power of empathy. How it has the unique ability of allowing people to connect deeply in a real and lasting way. How it helps people understand that which is different from them. And how I believe empathy can be a powerful tool for social change. For those reasons, it's a tool I try to employ as part of my everyday arsenal. Listening with heart and intention can be more than just a skill or ability, it can be a defining moment that could help change the path for someone. And for a quick refresher on what empathy is, check out this video.
Calls like this happen, they break my heart every time because generally I can't do more than listen calmly, intently, and offer true and genuine compassion. It's a stark reminder why I do this work, it's why I became a resident adviser at Ohio State, it's why I embraced the challenging role of being a sexual assault victim advocate and took crisis calls, it's why I stretch myself to thin to this day working on criminal justice reform and as an advocate/adviser on local issues that range from domestic violence to police-community relations.
I believe in the unique and lasting power of empathy as a true connector in relationships, and as a powerful tool for social change. In fact, I think it is probably the strongest tool I have in my arsenal. It's not a skill I've learned through work, but one garnered through life experiences. And it's one I think we could all use a little more of.
With love and empathy,
DC3FO
P.S. Oh and just in in case you wanted to experience all the feels again here's Kelly's performance on Idol :)