Lead in your own way...
I feel like it is not often I get to sit down and take a moment to reflect. It's something we all need to do more of, and there is no time like the present on the heels of Pride Month and July 4th. And that is exactly what I've decided to do while sitting at my favorite coffee shop in Columbia Heights, Tynan. It's locally owned, and if you are in the area you should check it out - they have great nitro cold brew and breakfast sandwiches (the Farmhouse is my jam). So let the reflections begin...
Pride - a celebration of the LGBTQ community, its history, the struggle in the fight for rights and visibility, and the reminder that the work is far from over. July 4th - the celebration of American independence from monarchy rule, a move to self determination, and a government by, of, and for the people. Similar to Pride, Independence Day is a celebration of our complicated history, struggle for equal rights for all, and a reminder that the work to form a more perfect union is a truly endless task.
We live in a world that has seen a lot of change and progress, but a lot of work still remains to ensure that freedom and equity are truly accessible and felt by all. I’m able to be an out gay man in all aspects of my life because of those who came before me who rioted, marched, protested, and died so I could be my whole self.
We live in a world that has seen a lot of change and progress, but a lot of work still remains to ensure that freedom and equity are truly accessible and felt by all. I’m able to be an out gay man in all aspects of my life because of those who came before me who rioted, marched, protested, and died so I could be my whole self.
For those reasons it is important to celebrate the ideals inherent in Pride and Independence Day. But I also recognize I've been afforded a lot of privileges in life that have allowed me to thrive - I am white, male, cisgendered, economically stable, educated, and have loving and supportive family and friends. That is why for me, it is important that throughout the celebrations and toasts to recognize all the work that has been done, we remember what lies ahead.
Don't get me wrong, I can celebrate with the best of them...and girl I did just that during DC's Capital Pride this June. I danced, laughed, made out with people, adorned amazing clothing, sipped drinks, forgot to eat, and met some amazing new people.At 35 I can say that I am living a full life. Sure, I succumb to the pessimism that strikes when you are living in the now and frustrated with work, school, relationships, etcetera - but what I love about times like Pride is that it is a solid reminder of how truly fortunate I have been in my life. I get to sing and dance out loud; to travel; to meet amazing people; to have family who I may not talk to as much as we would all like, but who love me unconditionally; and I've been fortunate enough to find myself in positions of quiet leadership.
Visibility is important and there are times I should probably be more visible myself - to stand up and say I am here and you can be too - but some of us, I believe, are meant to be quiet leaders. It’s what I’ve done prior to DC and it is what I’ve been doing over the course of my 10 years here.
We are taught from a young age that leadership requires being out front and outspoken - that inherently leadership requires visibility. But there are also people who lead without seeking recognition. Who step into the spot light when necessary, but that is not where they shine the brightest. I call this quiet leadership (note: I'm sure someone else likely coined this before me, and for the record I haven't done any research on it before writing this blog...oops). I do think, however, that quiet leadership is equally as important as the outspoken, visionary leaders who dare to push the status quo and defy the odds.
I’ve been fortunate to do some important work on LGBTQ intimate partner violence in DC - something I am actively considering getting back into. I’ve lead in areas of criminal justice reform - albeit briefly before becoming focused on organizational and nonprofit management. And for the last 3 years, I have served as the Chair of DC’s Police Complaints Board - the governing body of the DC Office of Police Complaints, an independent government agency tasked with investigating civilian complaints against the police. As a political appointee, I've been tasked with working to ensure that DC has a strong and functioning civilian oversight of law enforcement body.
In my work in social justice I often get frustrated and exhausted; I sometimes think I am not doing enough; and to be honest at times I feel like I don’t want to do any of it anymore. But as much as I have my moments where I want to just make money and travel, I know that the fight for social justice is in my blood. I also know that my roll in the fight is not front line visibility, marching or protesting, but using my skills and knowledge to pull levers to help make systems more equitable and just. It is not visible or flashy work, and it is often not quick to see results, but I fundamentally believe it is just as important as those who are out there in a visible way leading the causes.
In a time where if you aren’t shouting people don’t pay attention, I can sometimes feel as if my work is not bold or brave enough. But I'm here to remind myself and you that social change and leadership comes in many forms, and all of them are necessary and valuable.
I’ve been fortunate to do some important work on LGBTQ intimate partner violence in DC - something I am actively considering getting back into. I’ve lead in areas of criminal justice reform - albeit briefly before becoming focused on organizational and nonprofit management. And for the last 3 years, I have served as the Chair of DC’s Police Complaints Board - the governing body of the DC Office of Police Complaints, an independent government agency tasked with investigating civilian complaints against the police. As a political appointee, I've been tasked with working to ensure that DC has a strong and functioning civilian oversight of law enforcement body.
In my work in social justice I often get frustrated and exhausted; I sometimes think I am not doing enough; and to be honest at times I feel like I don’t want to do any of it anymore. But as much as I have my moments where I want to just make money and travel, I know that the fight for social justice is in my blood. I also know that my roll in the fight is not front line visibility, marching or protesting, but using my skills and knowledge to pull levers to help make systems more equitable and just. It is not visible or flashy work, and it is often not quick to see results, but I fundamentally believe it is just as important as those who are out there in a visible way leading the causes.
In a time where if you aren’t shouting people don’t pay attention, I can sometimes feel as if my work is not bold or brave enough. But I'm here to remind myself and you that social change and leadership comes in many forms, and all of them are necessary and valuable.
So go out there and lead in your own way. Be bold. Be Brave. But most importantly be you.
With love,
DC3FO