Do flights make you reflective?

In the past couple months I've done a good bit of flying and something I've noticed is that I often get reflective on flights.

My reflection tends to center around life, its direction, and the losses that shape us. Particularly, during take off I tend to reflect on those who are no longer a part of my daily life. As of late, I've found myself reflecting on Zach. Thinking about the pain of loss; how unfair life can be at times; how he should be traveling, celebrating, and living life to its fullest - just as I am trying to do. And I think about how his loss should be a constant reminder to me and everyone who knew him to make the most out of each and every day - to live in the moment, and to live it for yourself, and for those who are no longer present, but were an integral part of your life. 

If you know me well, you know that I am not a very religious person. I wouldn't say that I am by any means an atheist, but I would describe myself as agnostic. There is a part of me that believes in a higher power; and part of me that recognizes the need for humans to have that belief in something divine and greater than themselves. It can help provide meaning, reflection, and a greater sense of purpose in a world that can be often challenging to understand. 

And although I am agnostic, flying tends to be the most consistent time of prayer for me. Specifically, at every takeoff I pray for a safe flight and to allow all those traveling to arrive safely to their final destination. And then I often continue offering prayers for loved ones no longer with me, hoping that they are at peace, and I pray for friends and family who are struggling with any variety of life challenges. 

I don't know about you, but for me as I've gotten older times of prayer have largely shifted from having solely a focus on me to a focus on others. The most reminiscent prayers from my youth were largely attempting to, for better or worse, pray away the gay. If I close my eyes, I can distinctly remember laying in bed surrounded by my stuffed animals (some of whom I still have to this day) pleading with God for me to be "normal." For he or she to take away the feelings that so many people said were against the natural order. To take the weapon of words away from kids in school who used them in an attempt to define and silence me, and boost their own social standing.

Flash forward twenty plus years and here I sit reflecting on those prayers and ever so happy they weren't granted. Those prayers came long before the It Gets Better Project, and in a lot of ways are one of the many reasons I serve on the Young Donors Committee of SMYAL, working to fundraise to support their work with LGBTQ youth. I'm proud of the work that I do, and the person that I've become. Maybe one day I'll continue my self reflection by writing a letter to younger Paul (like has been popularized in recent times), but in the meantime I will continue to take my flight time for prayers and reflection.

Do you find time to reflect?

With much love,
DC3FO

P.S. Just in case you are dying to know where I've flown here is a quick run down of my May/June flights.

DC --> Columbus --> DC
DC --> Copenhagen --> Prague
Vienna --> Cologne --> London --> Copenhagen --> DC
DC --> ATL --> Memphis --> ATL --> DC