Stepping into the sun...

As I was reading from one of my new favorite books, Honey Peppered Tongue, I was reminded that we all must make room in our lives. And in that vein I started writing, to get out what has been churning inside me. And that is what I am sharing now, after a couple bourbons and dancing to some classic 90's tunes in my kitchen - I ended my night by writing this blog post:

There is something truly magical about stepping into the spring sun. How it's light and warmth washes over me and fills me with calm and reflection.

To be honest, most moments I feel fine; I'm focused on life, on being the best me that I can be. Engulfed in the mundaness of life's routine. On the struggles of balance - the desire for more play and less work. And on wanting to make a difference, to leave a legacy.

But every so often I am overcome with a moment of reflection. It can be brought on by a song or a smell, or yes, even the sun, but every time I'm filled with the distinct sting of loss - remembering those who are no longer a part of my life. It is easy to forget in the humdrum of the every day of the losses that define us. But in those moments of reflection they ring loud and true in a profound way.

In many ways this heightened sense of awareness could be that I am still processing the sudden and unexpected loss of my brother. That we spent so many years apart, divided by a continent that it is easy to forget that he is gone and simply not sitting through college classes in the Arizona desert. But he is gone and I'd be lying if I said that I didn't struggle with how I am suppose to feel. Often times I oscillate between numbness and reflection. And then words from the musical Dear Evan Hansen ring loudly in my ears: "no one deserves to be forgotten; no one deserves to fade away."

And then my mind spins back to legacy. What is a legacy? Can we decide what our legacy is? Or is it simply decided by fate?

Eventually we all become a memory, upon which others build their lives. And even as those memories upon which we build our own may grow more distant, it doesn't negate their importance in building our foundation. And it is that foundation that allows others to live on. And maybe that in and of itself is a legacy.

So live your life as if you are shaping a legacy. Live it loud. Live it proud. And live it with love.

Step into the sun,
DC3FO